deeep throat

after four collisions in 12 months, my friends began to worry that bunny the car had a death wish. but after my own hat trick (that’s 3 for people who grew up more than 5 miles away from canada) of emergency room visits in as many months, i’m wondering if it’s rubbed off on me, too.

let’s be honest, folks. i really didn’t think i could EVER top the “back ironing” incident of october ‘07. the talent that one must possess to (1) think ironing on your bed is a sound idea (2) forget that said iron is on said bed (3) jump on said bed to put on one’s boots while said iron is on said bed and (4) fry one’s back in three places with said iron is pretty rare, indeed. but, alas, never underestimate the ability of the coco.

coco’s latest drama all started at a seemingly harmless place:

and while saturday’s dining establishment had sharp knives and proudly boasted a grill, i didn’t worry too much about my safety and the safety of others, as i was trying my best to be careful. the normal coco restaurant missteps were thankfully avoided: i didn’t trip on my 3 inch heels. i didn’t spill my cocktail. i didn’t cut myself with the butcher knives. i even eschewed the ribs as i thought i’d prolly only end up wearing them. coco was wrapping up her incident-free dining experience when she took one last bite of her slow roasted chicken and….

proceeded to swallow a chicken bone.

if you google “swallow chicken bone” you’ll find hundreds of articles about the dangers of cats and dogs ingesting chicken carcasses. clearly, coco has sunk to new lows and decided to take up unsafe activities relegated to four-legged creatures. i can’t tell you how i accomplished this rare feat…however, i can tell you that there’s nothing more humbling than walking into the cedars-sinai ER on a saturday night and telling the triage nurse, “i have a chicken bone lodged in my throat.”

after 3 hours of being x-rayed, having long scary things shoved down my throat, drinking foul liquids and throwing up in front of your boyfriend, the offending chicken bone was dislodged by the same people who helped britney with her first bout of crazy.

now with my throat and ego slowly on the mend, i’m hoping i’ll never have to visit the ER again in the near future…

mostly so i don’t have to see the doctor who applauded my unique ability for having long things shoved down my throat. uh, yeh.

happy erect…i mean election day, y’all!

~ by lollibela on February 7, 2008.