i can has hoomanz court?

howdie y’all. it’s been ages since i wrote something other than a cover letter or an unemployment claim. and while it’s kinda neat to be a statistic, representing 1 of 467,300 laid-off californians has provided me with a remarkable lack of writing inspiration. it did, however, provide ample time to acquire a few new hobbies.

1) THE PEOPLE’S COURT. this isn’t your mom’s people court, y’all. move over judge wapner and los angeles. the 2008 version is filled with CRAZAY new yorkers who willingly choose to be humiliated on national tv by a judge who’s just like that super mean-but-hot junior high teacher who scared the hell out of you.

not only is the new people’s court good television..it’s also a great form of therapy. if you can’t feel good about yourself after watching trainwreck after trainwreck get ripped to shreds by judge Marilyn Milian, you are probably beyond hope.

2) LOLCATS. let’s be honest. i think i have the crazy cat lady gene in me. i’m probably one PETCO adoption day and two unemployment checks away from realizing my crazy-cat-lady-in-a-trailer destiny. the good news is that i’ve found another way to get my feline fix without spending my entire severance on kitty litter: LOLCATS. this phenomenon of linking cute kitty kitteh pictures with urban/internet misspeak is better than a doublewide trailer with cat flaps. who needs gainful employment when you have free entertainment like this?!

3) professional audience member. one of the best things about being laid off in hollywood is that you’re not alone in being job-challenged. at any given time, 98.9% of its residents are both unemployed and drinking caffeinated, soy-based beverages at the Coffee Bean. i figured that if i was going to be starving, i might as well be a starving artist. and by artist, i mean paid audience member. my resume now boasts 2 episodes each on DEAL OR NO DEAL and a certain late night talk show that has a guy with a scottish accent that i’m forbidden to name. and while i think i could hear my mom and grad school professors weeping at each clap cue, at least these gigs succeeded in keeping me away from PETCO.

so as i get ready to mail my last unemployment claim (yes, mom, i finally found a ‘real’ job), i can’t help but feel a little verklempt to say goodbye to my new hobbies. indeed, these weren’t just guilty pleasures…they managed to tickle my funny bone during some not-so-funny times.

so if you find yourself here…

don’t worry your pretty little head. just remember that they may be able take your job away…

but you can ALWAYS has cheezburger.

happy summer y’all!

~ by lollibela on June 24, 2008.