earning your wings

15 Aug

the last few weeks have been a shit sandwich served with a large side of poopiness.  epic work stress…the kind where i wondered if i would even have a job come monday? oh yes please!  water heater leaking all over my kitchen floor creating the need for an ark to get to my espresso machine? why not?! a nasty-a$$ upper respiratory infection that won’t quit me? give me that!  that fun time when cute gun-play guy did quit me?  yasss girl yassss!!!!!

but in the middle of this swirling feces-fest, i did something kinda cool.

i told a silly story at The Moth.

if you don’t know the Moth, you need to stop reading this RIGHT NOW and check out their podcast now…I’ll wait for you…




amazeballs right?!

for my Moth aficionados…they do live events in a bunch of cities where out-of-work writers and actors people share short stories on a pre-specified theme.  dubbed Moth-Slams, each potential storyteller puts their name in a hat at the onset and then sh*ts their pants waits to see if they get picked. If they do, they get 5 minutes to wow the audience with a fully-memorized, true story.  once you throw up in your mouth finish your story, judges get all judgey and assign points for overall story, keeping to the time limit (clearly they’ve met me), and the relationship to the night’s theme. the winner of the night (and other nights) go on to compete at the Moth’s Grand Slam.

the best part about these events?  on their website they say, “many of the tellers use profanities that may be offensive to children and their parents.” how can i not be part of something like this?!!

so last weekend when i was listening to my beloved kcrw and they were giving away tix, i took this as a sign from the public radio gods to finally get my Moth on. the theme?  beg, borrow or steal.

prior to getting my a$$ dumped by cute gun-play guy, i decided it would be a great idea to invite him as my date.  since dating in LA isn’t difficult enough…i figured that standing up in front of the person you want to have sex with and 100 other people you don’t (at least most of them) on a stage and telling a perfectly crafted, fully memorized story whilst under the influence of dayquil, zyrtec, and three screwdrivers was a stellar idea.

in my defense he’s a big moth fan too.  and i’m clearly insane.

the entire night was a bit of a blur…see earlier-referenced vodka/OJ dranks and throwing up in my mouth…but this is what i do recall:

  1. my name was picked second-to-last because…of course it was.
  2. i almost missed my name being called because…of course i went to the bathroom when i gave up on being picked.
  3. the lights were REALLY bright.
  4. it was actually really nice to stand in front of a bunch of people and tell the story about the time my brother stole soft-batch cookies from every mail box in our neighborhood.
  5. i don’t think i completely sucked.
  6. a bunch of people actually laughed.
  7. my scores from the judges weren’t great but a few nice people said nice things to me afterwards.
  8. talking of scoring, my date still wanted to sleep with me.

so while i lick my wounds, i’m struck by the symbolism of the moth.  i’ve been keen to emerge from my self-imposed casing as this perfect, beautiful winged soul. but i have to earn my wings.  this means fighting for me and being vulnerable and taking risks and asking for help and getting low scores from judges and feeling like you’re going to shart your pants from time-to-time. it’s officially time to pull my a$$ out of that dark place that tells me “you can’t, no, why bother” and instead, believe that i can fly…

not in a creepy R. Kelly kinda way, though.

ps you can’t talk about moths without talking about the best one of all…mothra. she likes to kick godzilla’s ass and save tokyo. and she looks sassy doing it.  kinda puts it all in perspective. #girlpower


“If the world lives to see another century, please remember what mothra did for you and the planet you live on.” -Godzilla vs Mothra

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