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all the gorey details

22 Jun

dear al gore,

thank you for inventing the internet. cuz without the worldwideweb, la vida coco wouldn’t exist.  instead, i’d be forced to write crude remarks on bathroom stalls or hire one of those banner-towing planes to share my musings. but because of you and your surpreme techy awesomeness, i can get all bloggy with my tens of thousands of dedicated readers any time i want.

well, mister vice president, you might be exited to hear that i’m pushing the boundaries of the internet age.  i now have an web address that i can easily remember when i’m drunk people can easily remember.  yup, i threw down some hard cold cash and magically now have a cool website addy. no more weird wordpress address for the coco!

so if you need your la vida coco fix, hit me up on:

it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days.

well, gotta run and check out those crazy internet cats that are always laughing out loud.  did you invent those, too?

love, coco

ps…more big news coming your way on friday.  yay!

it’s sasha, b*tch

29 Aug

those who know me can attest to the fact that i’m the original obama girl. but after four great years of unwavering barack-worship, i’m kinda done. yes, there’s a new object of my affection.

i’m in love with the sasha.

its sasha, b*tch

it's sasha, b*tch

crazier than george w. during his coke years and feistier than howard “yeahhhh!” dean after his iowa loss, sasha obama has it going on. and it’s only a matter of time before we find out she’s the real brains behind the operation. in between play dates and pokemon, sasha’s been busy vetting veep choices, planning the withdrawl from iraq and designing a bouncy castle for the rose garden. screw nap time–sasha has to focus on world domination…and installing a water slide in the reflecting pool.

its a sasha world.  i just let you live in it.

it's a sasha world. i just let you live in it.

over the years, we’ve been entertained/bored/embarrassed by our president’s spawn, most notably:

amy snooze carter

amy "snooze" carter

and

sox i did not have sexual relations the cat

sox "i did not have sexual relations" the cat

and

drunkardson twins activate!

drunkardson twins activate!

other than the drunkardson twins, we’ve been given snoozefest after snoozefest. but move over first families…we’ve got a new kid in town. and she’s gonna be fierce!

dontcha wish your jenna and barbara were hot like me?

dontcha wish your jenna and barbara were hot like me?

so when i rock the vote for obama in november, i’m really doing it for the sasha.

do what i say, daddy, and nobody gets hurt

do what i say, daddy, and nobody gets hurt

and trust me…if you don’t, she’s gonna hunt you down on her big wheel and make you listen to the cheetah girls until you break.

happy friday and don’t forget to register to vote, y’all!

it's sasha, b*tch

29 Aug

those who know me can attest to the fact that i’m the original obama girl. but after four great years of unwavering barack-worship, i’m kinda done. yes, there’s a new object of my affection.

i’m in love with the sasha.

its sasha, b*tch

it's sasha, b*tch

crazier than george w. during his coke years and feistier than howard “yeahhhh!” dean after his iowa loss, sasha obama has it going on. and it’s only a matter of time before we find out she’s the real brains behind the operation. in between play dates and pokemon, sasha’s been busy vetting veep choices, planning the withdrawl from iraq and designing a bouncy castle for the rose garden. screw nap time–sasha has to focus on world domination…and installing a water slide in the reflecting pool.

its a sasha world.  i just let you live in it.

it's a sasha world. i just let you live in it.

over the years, we’ve been entertained/bored/embarrassed by our president’s spawn, most notably:

amy snooze carter

amy "snooze" carter

and

sox i did not have sexual relations the cat

sox "i did not have sexual relations" the cat

and

drunkardson twins activate!

drunkardson twins activate!

other than the drunkardson twins, we’ve been given snoozefest after snoozefest. but move over first families…we’ve got a new kid in town. and she’s gonna be fierce!

dontcha wish your jenna and barbara were hot like me?

dontcha wish your jenna and barbara were hot like me?

so when i rock the vote for obama in november, i’m really doing it for the sasha.

do what i say, daddy, and nobody gets hurt

do what i say, daddy, and nobody gets hurt

and trust me…if you don’t, she’s gonna hunt you down on her big wheel and make you listen to the cheetah girls until you break.

happy friday and don’t forget to register to vote, y’all!

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