Tag Archives: alabama shakes

licking buttery spread off my fingers

28 Feb

HELLO PEOPLE!!!  it’s been a minute, right?!  what’ve you been doing?  are you well?  how’s your mom?  did the penicillin work?

i don’t really know what to write about cuz when i take these long breaks i forget how to blog and then i get frustrated and then i go to eat copious amounts of chunky monkey and then i get sad because there’s only margarine and cooking sherry in my fridge and then i pound sip the latter and then i write inappropriate things on facebook and then i realize i should be writing my blog but then i’m too tipsy to use punctuation and then i shout to the internet gods that i can’t be expected to write whilest I have buttery spread on my fingers and then i say f*ck it and read gawker and then i tell my cat to stop giving me those judge-y stares.

um, yeah.

so until i figure out how to do this writing thing again, i’m going to leave you with some random thoughts/questions.

1) is there a difference between the harlem shake and alabama shakes?  and because i’m so unaware, should i be worried that i’ve finally become my mother?

2) i just bought 6 sessions at a tanning place.  should i be worried that the guy working there had what appeared to be a constellation of face carcinomas in the shape of orion?

3) how can i roofie my cat so i can do this?

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4)  a question from “a friend”: how can i delete my netflix history so my guy doesn’t know i’ve been partaking in a “say yes to the dress” marathon? (again).  

5) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY IS HE STILL WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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big smooches, y’all!  be back soon…swearsies 🙂

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