raising kane

the bad news? i didn’t get the job. the good news? i have not one BUT TWO BOTTLES OF VODKA IN MY FREEZER OH THANK YOU BABY JESUS!

for those keeping score (i mean, there could be a “coco job-hunt fantasy league” out there), i’m zero for three with prospective employers. which is kinda okay, because now i’m closer to becoming the susan lucci of job hunters. except i’m nothing like susan lucci other than the losing part since she’s in ridiculous shape and has AHHMAZING cheekbones and has slept with nearly every man in pine valley. and those cheek bones! did i mention those cheekbones? f*ck the daytime emmys when you’re erica kane.

sleeping with half of pine valley>;daytime emmy

after reading the rejection email 567 a few times, i was tempted to eat an entire box of ice-cream sandwiches. or weep in the face of my cat’s smug, judgmental looks. but just when i was ready to cry my eyes out in a REALLY LARGE bowl of cheetos while i watched steel magnolias for the umpteenth time, i heard something. it was a voice with impeccable diction…asking me, “what what would erica kane do? would erica kane let this get her down?” oh hells to the no. “would she bitch-slap anyone getting in her way…and look fabulous doing it?” abso-freakin-lutely. “would she crumble in the face of adversity?” not only would she stand tall in her finest stilettos, she’d also take on a new, rich, hunky husband AND start a new fragrance company AND exact revenge on her nemesi.

so with this new outlook, i better put the cheetos away get to bed so i can get my beauty sleep….because starting tomorrow, i’m gonna be raising some serious kane!

Sweet, sassy dreams, y’all.